Since I posted back in September, when we found out about Mackenzie's condition, I have run the gamut of emotions.
Confusion. Sadness. Anger. Depression. Helplessness. Desperation. Guilt. Fear.
I could probably come up with about a hundred more.
Around the new year, I came to an important realization: this is my reality. I can sit back and feel sorry for myself and wallow in "why me's" but that won't really do anyone any good.
It was time to find ME again. The strong me. The positive me.
I wish I had more to share about our sweet and Mighty Mackenzie. We are proud to announce that she finally started walking just a couple weeks shy of her 2nd birthday and are now heavily focused on speech. Even though she isn't able to speak many words, she fully understands us. We still don't have a finalized diagnosis on her condition - just bit and pieces - all of which we are treating individually. To say that it is frustrating not to have answers is an understatement. There are a lot of assumptions, but nothing that is definite. We ache to have some kind of understanding about the kind of life she is going to have. Jackson is envious of the attention that we have to give her and that has caused stress.
Yet, there is one constant: love. This little girl is loved like no other. Despite the mounting tests, therapy, poking, prodding and monitoring she continues to be just the happiest little person you will ever meet. I've said it before - her smile is the answer to world peace. While my heart aches in so many ways, it is impossible not to be overpowered by the amazing spirit this child brings to the world.
As abnormal as her world is, you would never know it by watching her. We want to pop the bubble we have put up around her and our family to do everything possible to be normal in a very abnormal situation. What we really want is to be the family we dreamed we could be. Maybe it doesn't look like we thought it would, but it still has the two key ingredients: love and faith. Neither of which we can live without at this point in our lives.
Inspired by my amazing daughter I created a playlist for her on Spotify - I hope you are as moved by these songs as I am! Mighty Mackenzie on Spotify
To follow Mackenzie's journey and join in her wonderful support community go to: www.facebook.com/mightymackie
Her smile will change the world...