It was my sole purpose in life this week to keep a cool head.
There are a number of reasons why this task was not easy.
1. Traveling Husband.
I know this is potentially the first of many travels ahead for my brilliant husband. He is presenting as well as sitting on a couple different panels for a conference in Vegas (a.k.a. pimping himself out). While I can certainly "handle" being a single mom for 5 days, it doesn't mean I have to like it. No matter how many times he has traveled, it is always the same story for me: I cannot sleep when he's gone. I'm simply paranoid. About everything. The house. The dog. Not waking up for the kid (even though my side of the bed is the default for Jack to walk up to anyway). While I actually loved the one on one time with my little guy, he is exhausting. To to it all off, I actually miss my husband when he is away.
2. 5K Training
I am running in the Get In Gear 5K tomorrow. Because of #1 above, my ability to train for tomorrow's race was pretty limited to my treadmill. The winter storm that hit us 72 some odd hours ago probably would have deterred my training anyway. Running is my escape and it was so hard that I wasn't able to make it work into my crazy week. I needed it. I craved it. I realized how important it is to me! Given the challenges of my week (see #1 and #3) I expect my race will go one of two ways: I will either crumble with exhaustion and post my worst time ever or (and I like to think it will go this way), I will channel all this crazy frustrated energy into my run and post a personal best.
3. Work Insanity
If there is one thing I have prided myself on over the course of my professional adventures, it is my integrity. While I haven't job jumped as many as some, I can pretty honestly say that I have never left a job with bad blood or burned any bridges. I always made sure that the bulk portion of my job had been completed and I wasn't leaving the person taking over for me with a giant mess. My colleague, a PM for a multi-million dollar website re-write in which I will eventually take over management of post-launch, up and quit 6 weeks before its launch. Not only were her unfinished piles of work left on my plate, but her last week here has been nothing but open ends and negativity. If there is one thing I do not subscribe to in my professional life, it is talking crap about my colleagues or acting like a petulant child. I am a team player. I get things done. Instead of wasting my time pointing fingers or playing the blame game, I choose to move forward and solve the problem. While she has offered to "help" in her final hours, she seems to be insulted that we are not accepting it. As with all jobs I have ever left, it doesn't make sense to try and continue working on things when it will leave open ends and essentially more questions. Thus making the two week notice kind of a joke. Let's face it, when you say you are leaving, what's the point in having you stick around. Hand your work over to the people who will be taking over, answer any lingering questions and walk away with some dignity and grace.
I rant because the behavior I witnessed this week was nothing short of completely unprofessional and for someone of this caliber, I guess I expected more. She was the first friend I made here and I feel like she dumped me in the deepest part of the ocean and left me to swim with the sharks.
Being the consummate professional that I pride myself to be, I am ranting here on my blog rather than talking shit to my colleagues. I kid you not, I have lost sleep over this situation this week. I am determined to oversee the rest of the project and hopefully come out in the end looking like a shiny diamond.
To say this week has been a challenge, is putting it mildly. I am exhausted. Crabby. I don't feel like myself. I am taking things a day at a time. Taking a lot of deep breaths. Remembering that I am a strong, smart and confident woman. Like a mantra, I need to just keep saying to myself over and over:
I got this.