March 20, 2013

New Beginnings

A friend of mine posted the following on Facebook a few weeks ago:

"We have a mindview and set emotions and we look for things to meet those or we color events within those guidelines to make them meet them. We constantly subconsciously try to fit pieces together from an emotional standpoint that fulfill all our needs, and only when we have an emotional craving, that we find a way to meet those needs."

This was taken from her communications class as they were discussing self-fulfilling prophecy.

I am a very firm believer in self-fulfilling prophecy. Seeing it. Feeling it. Believing that good things can happen will bring good things to your life. I do believe that some amazing things are short-lived in nature. They bring to us a momentary sugar high but can so quickly come crashing down destroying everything in its path. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe things happen to teach us lessons and all we can do is learn and move forward. Continue on, even when it hurts. Even when there is no defined closure. You continue on and simply do what is right. Protect the people you love.

I don't always like to discuss my marriage because it is SO personal and private. However, we have discovered some important things over the past few weeks that I want to share with all of you in hopes that it can provide a little inspiration to you in your own lives and maybe even your own marriage. We live a wonderful life. We like to believe we have the perfect son. The perfect house. Perfect jobs. Yet, of course we know, we are not inherently perfect. Our marriage has definitely not been perfect. When you have been with someone a long time, for us it has been over a decade (married for 8 of those 11 years), it is so incredibly easy to become complacent. To feel like you don't have to put in the work anymore. We filled our lives with our own individual things and kind of left the other out of the equation. I became literally obsessed with my health and fitness. Sure, there could be worse things to choose to do to detach myself, but this was my outlet. At the end of the night, we would usually go to our own parts of the house, him to his man cave, me to my living room. I would usually go to bed long before him and we wouldn't see each other until about dinnertime the next night. Most phone calls and emails were business-like in nature. We got arrogant. We thought our marriage was impenetrable. We completely took our marriage and each other for granted. I don't think this type of behavior is unusual for many married couples; however, both of us wanted to believe that it could be more than this. More than a business arrangement. So, we asked ourselves the question: Why did we get married in the first place? First and foremost because we were in love and committed to each other. I'm so very glad we have taken the time the last couple weeks to remember where it all began before spending years in a sad and lonely place, or worse, end up in divorce.

Marriage is not easy. It requires work, care and attention every single day. So many things demand our attention: kids, jobs, extended family, friends, ourSELVES- it seems somewhat easy to let go of the importance of our marriage partners. With all of these demands, it is easy to forget about what we wanted in the beginning. For me, I'm like any other little girl. I wanted the fairytale. A prince to sweep me off my feet. Hollywood romance. Guess what- it doesn't work that way in real life. It certainly did not happen like that for me, but what I have is better. Love that is deep and binding. Love that is forgiving. I have the real deal.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8
Read more - >

I am lucky. Many don't get a chance to right their wrongs. I never want to think about being apart from the people I love the most. I would do absolutely anything for them. I could not be more thrilled and excited about our future and our lifetime together. So, so lucky.

I am a constant work in progress as I'm sure we all are.

If there is something I need to work on the most, it is to learn how to love and forgive myself. If I cannot do that, what else do I have to give?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Yay! I welcome your comments!

Site Design by Designer Blogs