I was excited to start a new journey and still am; however, first days are hard. Despite years of experience that has filled me with knowledge, you walk into a new company and are pretty clueless. You don't know anyone. You don't know where to find anything. You basically feel like a total idiot. Not to mention zero access to personal e-mail or social media (all uber blocked at my new company), I just felt cut off from the world I feel like I needed to be connected to. I'm not even remotely used to such a long commute. I took mass transit for the first time and I both loved it and hated it. Loved it because I had 30 minutes to just sit and relax. Hated it for the same reasons (ha!) and the fact I felt like I was at the mercy of the light rail train and its schedule.
To top it off, I didn't make it home until aft 6 tonight (compared to the 4:30 that I am used to, it may as well have been 10p at night). Getting home that late meant missing seeing my boy. He had swimming at 6:15 so when he came home, it was already time for bed. I soaked up every last bit of hugs and cuddling I could out of him. I think part of my heartache with getting home late had to do with spending SO much time with him last week, just the two of us. With my husband out of town last week, my world revolved around Jack and our home. I loved it. Maybe a little too much.
I know over time that staying at home wouldn't fulfill me the way I would want it to. I love being a professional and I love working in marketing. It is so important for me to remember that there will never have to be another first day at this particular job or this company again. The only way to go is up and that is exactly what I intend to do.
So I'm going to wipe away the tears and the sad, guilty feelings. I'm going to take a deep breath and hold my head high. I've got this.