July 19, 2012

Embracing a New Life

Me in my new cube. 
Yes, my blog has been neglected. Yes, I have a good excuse.

I started a new job on July 2nd. The first week was... interesting. I went from scared and miserable to feeling like everything was going to be okay. Fast forward three weeks later: everything is AWEsome. The first week jitters were short-lived as was the lack for work and projects. In just my 2nd week on the job, I was brought in to consult on a very visible corporate initiative. I'm excited for the opportunity but confess I feel like I'm sort of a lost puppy. I went from a small-company world where I had control to this large-company world with policies and procedures for everything. While daunting, I am determined to make a valuable impact.

I have also very much embraced the Downtown Minneapolis working world. I've discovered some yummy skyway eats and treats and I fell in love with Thursday's Farmer's Market. I also confess that I love taking the bus. The transit station is about 15 minutes from my house, and it cuts my total commute time by about half. The people who ride are about as normal as people come and it drops me off and picks me up just a block or two from my office. My bus and Downtown life annoyances are a post for another day.

One of the things I have loved the most about my new gig is the opportunity to "reinvent" myself. If I ever wore dresses or skirts at my last job it was an indication of a job interview or trying to "impress" someone. Here? It is the norm for most people (perhaps a large corporate office thing?). It has been hotter than the sun lately and it has been so nice to wear cute cotton dresses and fun skirts. I feel comfortable, pretty and important! Did I mention the Ann Taylor store in my building??

There are still many adjustments I am making. I start later and get home later. I am now in charge of dropping off the kidlet in the morning as opposed to picking him up which as most of you mommies (and daddies too) know is really the shitty part of the bargain. Is there anything worse than having to bolt from your sad child because they don't want you to leave? Or is there anything worse than their being totally indifferent (doesn't he MISS me??). Since I now get home later, we are also eating dinner later. We have started keeping the kiddo up an extra half hour so I can make sure to muster up all the quality time I can. Dishes stay undone until after his bedtime. DVR shows go unwatched. I worry that these "changes" will have a negative effect on him. He's been sleeping like crap lately. Is it my fault? So, despite the awesomeness that is my new job, there is a significant level of guilt involved in accepting it. Guilt over choosing my career over my child. Guilt for putting the impetus of making dinner and childcare post-work on my husband. I'm sure this guilty feeling will get better in time. My new company is shockingly flexible and actually cares about work/life balance. It has taken some getting used to coming and going as I please and I still am afraid to push that envelope. It was such a point of contention at my last job- it's hard to shake yourself of that brainwashing. I know in time, this will be our new way of life. It will just take some time to adjust.

Speaking of the new me... I am in my 3rd week of transition with Medifast and it is going well. I have been able to add vegetables, fruit and dairy back into my diet. Did I mention how happy I am about the fruit? Fruit has been a go-to healthy snack for me all my years on Weight Watchers, so getting the A-OK to start eating it again has been nice. I don't feel compelled to grab other naughty snacks, because having a banana is truly a treat for me! I thought I'd be really pumped for dairy, but strangely haven't been compelled to add that much of it back into my diet. So far, so good my weight has held steady fluctuating between 151 - 153. The great part about transition and maintenance? No more freaking out over the scale. No more beating myself up over the numbers. I'm not saying keeping the weight off will be easy, I just finally don't feel so stressed out over it anymore. I'm in a good place. I'm happy. It's weird to start this job in this body. Nobody here knows me any other way. While I enjoyed my former colleagues seeing my transition, it is nice to know that this is the way people expect me to be. By setting my healthy standard from the beginning, I know people don't expect me to be any other way and I don't feel guilty for saying no to treats. 

So yes, this is the new me. I am really proud of all that I have accomplished in 2012!!

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