June 07, 2012

A Touchy Subject: Let's Agree To Disagree

So, reports are brewing that Gisele is pregnant again. I made a comment of my distaste for her on Twitter and got a reply by someone who didn't like my remark, saying that she thinks Gisele is a great mom.

I feel the urge to clarify. 

I never said she isn't a good mom. Like every other mom in the world, she does what she needs to do. What is right for her. What makes sense for the world she lives in. It's her condescending comments that I don't care for. These ones: She didn't "treat her body like a garbage can" in pregnancy, we all know she thinks everything other than breastfeeding should be illegal and she had her baby potty trained at 6 months. Well, we should all be so lucky to be such fucking perfect mothers.

I appreciate parenting advice. I do. When I was pregnant, I sought it out. I was clueless and needed to know anything and everything. I had no idea who was right or wrong, which opinion I should listen to. Then I became a Mom and it mattered. Is it advice or is it just someone on their high horse?

Advice is one thing, but  I still don't appreciate feeling judged. Inadequate. A failure. That is how Gisele's comments made me feel (and really... the entire modeling industry as a whole makes normal everyday women feel like total shit). As the victim of shitty overweight genetics, I was already predisposed to becoming a total fat ass after having a baby. Ask any woman in my family. Seriously. I didn't treat my body like a garbage can (as a matter of fact, I was sick as hell for 25 weeks) but I still gained 35 pounds. As far as her not needing any pain medication during labor? Again, good for her. There wasn't a moment after my epidural that I wasn't thanking my lucky stars for it. But, I guess to some (like Gisele) that makes me weak. Oh, and let's see... I'm a full-time working mom which meant my boobs (or bottle in my pathetic case) weren't available to my son 24/7 so I couldn't hold him over the toilet after all of his feedings to ensure he was potty trained before he turns 1. I have already beaten the breastfeeding subject to a pulp so I'm not even going to go there other than to say my inability to do so was one of the greatest causes of my PPD. I already feel guilty enough so PLEASE stop making it worse.

GOOD FOR GISELE for having the time, money and availability to do all she has done for her child. I just don't want to hear it anymore. Does her having another baby subject us to more of her painful, self-righteous opinions?

After nearly 4 years, I am FINALLY at a place where I KNOW that I am a GREAT mom. My son is smart, growing, thriving and he LOVES me. He really does. I don't need to justify any of the decisions I made in his earliest days because he is doing amazing. I don't know how it took so long, 36 years to be exact, to be able to brush aside small-minded opinions and learn to just love myself. Flaws and all. I'll never be perfect and thank god, because that is a lot to live up to. 

For the record, let this be the last time I have to justify my disdain for Gisele and her comments. You do it your way and I'll do it mine. We'll agree to disagree. But we'll ALL agree that what we're really trying to be at the end of the day is a good mom and there is no right answer for how to do that. It is what is in your heart.

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