April 13, 2012

Fabulous Fit Friday: I Am A Fat Girl No More

I have lost 50 pounds (more if you want to count the 35 I gained during pregnancy), am 4 sizes smaller and up until last night, I hadn't had that "I have changed" epiphany. I felt like the same person. Still the fat girl, accepting of her fate to always be the plus size bigger girl who was always hiding. Hiding behind clothing. Hiding from a justly deserved career. Hiding from life.

When I started Weight Watchers nearly a year and a half ago, at one of our meetings we did an exercise where we would visualize and imagine what it would be like at goal. I remember writing things down like being able to wear fabulous clothing, wear a swimsuit without fear, running faster and simply looking beautiful.

How can I be 8 pounds from goal and not have noticed these things??? People keep telling me I look incredible but I find it so hard to believe! Why did everyone else see it and not me?

My epiphany begins here: 
A few days ago, my husband was perusing some pictures he took at Christmas (yes, the Christmas that was just 4 months ago). He prompted me to come in his office, saying that I had to check something out. Up on his screen was a photo of me with my baby niece. I did a little bit of a double take. Was that me? The chubby face? And to think at that point I was down 20 lbs from Weight Watchers. Last night, my husband came home from work a little later than usual. I was already in my running outfit and he said, "You look awesome." Maybe all along, this was all I needed to hear from the most important person in my life.

I went on my run, which I had been dreading for some reason, but a half mile in I just felt... awesome. I felt strong. Beautiful. Fast. I completed 3.1 miles in my fastest time to date.

In all my sweaty glory, I went to clean up and really LOOKED at myself in the mirror. All those things I dreamed about? They are now my reality! How could I not see that?

So today, instead of agonizing over what to wear as I have done for so many years, I proudly pulled on my William Rast skinny jeans, my too big company logo dress shirt with a belt cinched around my newly discovered skinnified waist and pronounced to myself and the rest of the world:

I AM A FAT GIRL NO MORE!

P.S. When I officially reach my goal weight I will post before and after picture. Soon my friends, SOON! 

2 comments:

  1. Ahhhhh! I'm so proud of you!! I hope to continue my journey once this little one makes her entrance. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jen!! CONGRATS on your little GIRL on the way!! Soooooo exciting.

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