January 11, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: My Little Loverboy

Going to bed the other night, Jack is laying down in silence for awhile then sits up gives me a hug and says, "Mommy? I hugged and kissed Abby on the mouth at school today." I replied, "You did, huh?" He said, "Yeah. We were pretending to be a prince and princess. Just like Belle and the Beast."

Yesterday, he came home with an injury. He said his friend pushed him and he hit his nose on the wheel on the playground. We are now trying to determine if they were fighting over sweet princess Abby.



January 10, 2012

Big Decision. Big Change.

It may have been a knee jerk reaction. It may have been the fact that I have had no weight loss since about October and I am frustrated.

I can't believe I did this, but I canceled my Weight Watchers subscription today. Yes, me, the Weight Watchers guru. The one who preached that it is the only program where you can lose weight and keep it off. Yeah. I quit. You can't keep the weight off if you can't LOSE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

After a 6 month plateau (is it really a plateau after 6 months??) I decided to seek a new program. After oodles of research, not to mention watching a Twitter friend's journey of ridiculously awesome success, I chose Medifast.

Yes, I was going to wait until the end of the month; however, I am tired of waiting. Tired of not seeing results. Tired of not getting support. I bit the bullet and scheduled a consultation at Medifast today. Thinking I would just get the scoop on the program and bring it home to talk it over with the husband, the longer I was in the consultation, the more I wanted to do the program. Now, maybe they are trained to sell it that good, but the results of my body scan were very eye opening and encouraging. For the first time since I started my true weight loss journey a year ago, I actually feel like there is a real light at the end of the tunnel. They actually said I would be at my goal weight by Easter. WHAT? I'm not even kidding you. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Can I dare even think about it?

One of the things that was increasingly frustrating with Weight Watchers was the lack of support. Probably one of the biggest selling points with Medifast is the one on one support that I will be getting each week. I need to be able to talk through this with someone who is willing to listen to only me. Where I'm not just a face in the crowd, or can barely speak without someone cutting me off which was happening at my Weight Watchers meeting every single week. I'm going to miss my leader, she is as sweet as they come and I enjoyed her energy and I am going to miss the friends I made (which isn't hard to do when you've been struggling together for a year).

So back to my consult... They did a body scan which was super fascinating and pretty techie cool. Rather than looking only at BMI (as most weight loss programs do) they take into account the entire picture including body composition with analysis and an obesity analysis. I wasn't surprised to find that yes, I have to lose body fat but was happy to see that my skeletal muscle mass is in the normal range which speaks volumes about how much work I have put into my body over the past year. Not only did it tell me that I have some sense of healthy to my body but it also tells me that I don't have to lose as much as Weight Watchers was telling me I had to lose. While 38 lbs to lose still feels like a substantial number to me, it isn't as daunting as 45. I love that they are taking into account my body composition for my goal as opposed to just my height. Saying I'm a little "thick" isn't an excuse- I bring some guns to the gun show! To say I'm excited about the possibilities with this program is an understatement. I took the bait: hook, line and sinker.

One of my questions for my dietician today was, "Has anyone ever failed?" Her response to this question was crucial. She said, for as long as she had been meeting with people at Medifast she had never seen anyone not reach their goal weight. She then dangled the 10% off carrot at me if I sign up on the spot. After a brief and supportive discussion with my husband, I pretty much asked, "Where do I sign?"

No doubt, the program isn't cheap. But no more than I would spend being on Weight Watchers for the better part of the last 6 years. It's not a lose weight quick scam- yes, I'll likely reach my goal quickly; however, I will get support for a year once I reach my goal. They will teach me and mentor me on keeping the weight off. I am confident once I lose the weight, I will be able to keep it off. I obviously have some skills at maintaining my weight regardless.

Do I have some fears? Of course I do. I have been working Weight Watchers with limited success and I fear this won't be any different. The program is pretty dipshit proof though. There's no way to cheat and if you do, it will be obvious.

If you can't tell, I am so freaking stoked about this. I'm very determined. Very motivated. 2012 is going to be the year I get skinny and healthy for life.

I'm going to consider this my before picture. It is from May 2011 from the first 5K I ran last year (I am about 7 lbs less than this now).  I can't wait to see what I look like in May 2012!!!

January 09, 2012

Motivation Monday: Vacations Ahead

So, I didn't make my goal weight in 2011. Am I disappointed? Sure. Am I surprised? Nope. I had medical issues. It is going to take some time to find the right formula to start losing again.

What I did do successfully in 2011 is lose 20 lbs? I know to many who have lost oodles doing other programs that seems like a kick in the bucket but for me, it was a hard fought battle. I did change a lot of my habits and I am proud of the progress I have made at becoming a healthy person. One of the driving factors for my initial weight loss last year was to have a goal. A vision. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and I wanted to look good for those pictures that would grace many albums and walls for years to come. It was excellent motivation. Once the wedding was over, I kind of didn't have anything specific to work towards anymore. I became complacent. Nothing was holding me accountable anymore when there wasn't an end goal to make.

A Disney Promise For Potty Training Success
What is my motivation in 2012? Vacation. There is a lot of talk in my household about taking a couple different large scale (shorts/swimsuits) vacations at the end of the summer and the only way I will book them is if I am at or at least reasonably close to my goal weight. One way or another, I am going to make my goal weight by the 4th of July. It would require me to lose just 7 lbs a month. At this point it feels crazy. I haven't made any progress over the past few months despite my efforts and fear that I am setting myself up for failure.
We were invited on an adults-only trip  to Key West

However, that is why I said... one way or another. I have started to wonder if WeightWatchers is the right program for me. Don't get me wrong here, it is an awesome program full of awesome people. I have been working the program for a year. Despite some setbacks with my health, I feel like I should have lost more weight not to mention a 4 month plateau? Really? I feel like I am not getting the support I need to help me make changes to my diet that might help stimulate more weight loss. Let's face it. Eating healthy is important, yes, but so is finding the right balance to trigger weight loss. Am I eating too many carbs? Too much sugar? Not enough protein? Am I not working out enough (holy cripes... I don't think my body could physically do more)? I feel like my WeightWatchers meeting is so packed and nobody has the time to truly sit and talk with ME and frankly... I kind of question the expertise. Is completing the program enough to make someone a WeightWatchers expert? Enough to lead a group of people struggling with their weight?

I have been researching other programs. I've looked at ones that are total meal replacement (i.e. eating their food... Medifast, Nutrisystem) thinking that these are dummy proof and perfect for me since I apparently have no ability to make good choices. I have proved I can maintain. I'm not worried about that, but I need to lose more weight. I've looked into programs through my gym (Life Time Fitness). I've been intrigued about their Team Weight Loss program. It is expensive. They have a 90% success rate. You get to be on a team as opposed to one on one. But it meets 3 nights a week... full time job + husbands full time job + mommyhood = completely no ability to plan anything (P.S. Putting Jack in their childcare is just not an option for a kid who is already in daycare 9 hours a day... he deserves better than that from me). I'm also intrigued by their MyCoach program in which you meet with a trainer, they set up a one month program (which includes nutritional support) and you can touch base with questions virtually and then meet once a month and it is relatively cheap (under $100 per month).

As much as I could use the added support and motivation in the gym, I don't think it is my weak spot. I am registering for an Earth Day 5K with a good friend and will HAVE to train for the next 3.5 months. People like me can't just show up and run one of those things, plus I'm determined to knock 3 minutes off my time from last year (38:07). I have the exercise motivation. I've been working out 3-5 days a week for over a year now. I'm there.

So I'm thinking my problem lies in my food/nutrition. I need a specific direction and a day by day program to follow. I know of at least 3 people who are successfully doing Medifast and thinking it may be the right program for my needs. I am going to give WeightWatchers one last month. If I can see significant progress in the next 3 weeks then I will stick it out and know that I just wasn't working the program hard enough. If I stay still then I know there is something deeper going on that needs the attention of a more controlled program.

Wow. Babble, babble, blah. Thanks for letting me hash this out. 

I'm going to make this happen if it is the last thing I do!!!!

What is your motivation for weight loss/healthy living in 2012?

January 01, 2012

2012: The New Year Is Here

I am excited for the new year! 2011 was a downer in many ways and I'm ready to move on and move forward.

2012 could turn out to be very interesting... My husband has been itching to get out of his current job and into something new and exciting. There are several roads a new job could lead him down: ones that will offer stability and promotion down the road and ones that would require extensive travel but be lucrative enough to allow me to become a stay at home mom (SAHM). We have had several conversations about his job opportunities and my only hesitation with the travel-related positions was how crazy it would make my life with trying to be both mom and working full-time. My job isn't as flexible as it once was and I'm not sure I could make it work. At least make it work and keep my sanity.

I'll admit, I find myself getting very excited about the prospect of being able to become a SAHM. It used to scare me to think about jumping ship from my career but the more I find myself daydreaming about being around for my son, the more appealing it is.
  • I would be able to send him to half day Kindergarten close to our house (just a short 2 years away!!). 
  • I could be home for him when he gets off the bus. 
  • We would have more time for activities, lessons and sports. 
  • I would always be there for him when he's sick and needs to go to the doctor. 
  • I would never miss a school play. 
  • I could volunteer at his school and go on field trips. 
  • I could get back into music and maybe even join the church choir. 
  • We would have our summers free to go swimming or to the cabin whenever we want. 
  • I wouldn't have to worry about running out of PTO.
  • My house would be clean. 
  • I would keep the finances in order. 
  • I could actually work on my health & fitness goals. 
  • No more work politics and stress.
Okay. So my expectations may be a little high (as you current SAHM's roll in laughter at my pie in the sky vision). However, my husband challenged me to come up with a plan for what my days would look like, so, I did. It is all still in the dream phase. What happens if it doesn't come true? I'm good with my job. I'll continue working and we will maintain the status quo. We have a nice little thing going with our little family and it all seems to work.

Regardless of what happens, I will continue to keep a positive spirit flowing into 2012. I won't let health issues control my life. I will continue working towards my weight loss goals and would like to make my WeightWatchers Lifetime goal before the end of 2012. I will continue running and plan to run another 5K in 2012. I want to take a family vacation. I resolve to spend more married time with my husband and trust more people into our home to babysit. I want to get Jack into more activities and open myself up to making some new mom friends in my neighborhood. I am hoping to renew my relationship with the church and really want to make an effort to start going this year on a regular basis- church was an important part of my childhood and I want it to be a part of my son's life as well.

That is a shit ton of resolutions. Will I meet them all? Nope, probably not, but I will certainly give it a try!

I am looking forward to an awesome 2012!

 
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