"Fall"ing Off The Wagon

What is it about the Fall season that makes me want to throw in the towel on my healthiness journey?

Blah Blah Blah surgery. Blah Blah Blah cold & illness. Blah Blah Blah medication. I have a ridiculous amount of excuses.

Yup. I started the fall season on bad note. It seems to happen to me every year around September/October. I stop caring. I throw in the towel. Fall off the wagon.

Is it because it is cold out and I need sustenance? Is Halloween candy really that awesome? Is it because I know I'm going to throw myself over the edge over the holidays so why bother? Is it because it gets dark so dang early?

I have no idea what causes my autumnal lack of motivation, but I want terribly this year to fight through it. I've been in a weight loss rut and haven't seen a loss in a couple of months (basically just bouncing back and forth between the same 3 pounds). I'm not gaining, but I'm not getting any closer to my goals by allowing myself to be complacent or allowing excuses.

I have been very conscious of my choices for the past couple weeks and it has made a difference. I lost a whopping 2.8 lbs this week and I'm desperate to keep this trend going. There are a few key things I have taken note on:

• I have to track my food. When I don't track, I cheat (or believe somehow that I've stayed within my points range).
• I have to workout.
• Running works.

My success so far (18 lbs lost since January) has only happened because of doing both tracking and working out. In order for me to lose weight, I have to do both. I hate that I am not that person who can walk into WeightWatchers and drop 20 lbs in 10 weeks. I hate that I have only lost 18 lbs. I hate that it is so hard for me to lose weight. I still believe that WeightWatchers is the right program for me in terms of long-term sustainable weight loss. As desperate as I am to make goal, and I still have 40 lbs to go, I need to be able to fit healthy living into my lifestyle. Forever. In a way that I can live with. In a way that I won't feel deprived. In a way that I don't have to say no. So I know my limits. I am thrilled that I can still log a loss this week after a Saturday of indulgence. I drank. I ate. I TRACKED. It worked.

I have started running again. It worked for me earlier this year. It will work for me again. I hate that I have to run on a treadmill (I'm too chicken to run in the dark), but it is better than doing nothing at all. As much as I complain and have to DRAG myself off the couch to run, when I am done I love it. I love the adrenaline rush. The feeling of accomplishment. And I ask myself, why did I ever stop?