March 03, 2011

Perspective From a Miscarriage Survivor



Possible death penalty for women who miscarry? I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone could think this is okay. I haven't heard much about the details but really, are there any details that could make a law like this right?

Most women who make the decision (or don't make the decision?) to have a baby know the risks. From www.americanpregnancy.org:

For women in childbearing years, the chances of having a miscarriage can range from 10-25%, and in most healthy women the average is about a 15-20% chance.

The first time I got pregnant in 2006, I was totally over the moon. And naive. I never, EVER thought that I would miscarry. It happened quickly at just 6 weeks, but it was long enough to love, long enough to feel, long enough to dream and make plans. To say I was completely crushed when I started miscarrying is an understatement. I don't think I have ever cried as much as I did in that moment and in the days to follow. I didn't know it was possible to love something so much. I couldn't understand it. I still don't. I'm not sure I ever will. I blamed myself for the longest time and researched up and down. What could I have done differently? What did I do to make this happen? Could I have done anything to stop it? The answers: NOTHING and NO. The one answer I consistently found in my research (as well as what I was told by my doctors):


The reason for miscarriage is varied, and most often the cause cannot be identified. During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality - meaning that something is not correct with the baby's chromosomes. Most chromosomal abnormalities are the cause of a faulty egg or sperm cell, or are due to a problem at the time that the zygote went through the division process.

It would be two and a half long years until I finally got another positive pregnancy test and a first trimester filled with nothing but fear. If I do ever get pregnant again, I'm sure I will go through that fear all over again.

I have since allowed myself some forgiveness, but I have never forgotten. I truly believe that I have a little angel who watches over us and has given me peace.

So dear idiot lawmaker who thinks he has a brilliant idea, until you grow a uterus, shut your hole. A miscarriage sufferer goes through a lifetime of punishment, sadness and fear. Let this serve as a lessons for Americans: DO YOUR RESEARCH when you are voting. It doesn't always have to be Democrat or Republican. Let it be about the things that are important to you. The things you really believe in. Don't vote garbage like this into office.

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