January 25, 2011

Just One Day at a Time

I heard some pretty sad news last night. Someone who was close to one of my family members died of an apparent drug overdose. I had never met him, but she and her fiance were obviously pretty close with him (he was a roommate) and she is broken. My heart breaks for them as I know this cannot be easy. A former recreational user, he had been clean for some time but the pressures of daily life struggle got the best of him and he went on a bender. A bender that cost him his life. Just incredibly tragic and so very sad.

This just got me thinking about the addictions in my life. I smoked for nearly 10 years until I met my now husband and he gave me an ultimatum- he said it's me or the cigs. You choose. I chose him. Good choice if you ask me :) I quit cold turkey 9 years ago and never looked back. I am addicted to caffeine. While I don't consume all that much, just a cup of coffee in the morning and 1 can of Diet Coke at lunch, if I quit either of those things I would endure painful withdrawal headaches. My toughest addiction? Food. I love food. I LOVE FOOD. It is why starting a program like WeightWatchers is a big deal. I am hoping that I can continue to love food but simply change my relationship with it. None of these addictions are necessarily going to kill me tomorrow, but they would continue to impact my health in negative ways over time. WeightWatchers for me is literally one day at a time. I am learning to be better about planning for how I'm going to eat for future events, but for the most part, it is waking up and just getting through the day being conscious of my choices. No lie. It's hard. Sticking to this program as I am in the here and now is one of the harder things I have ever done. It really does take amazing willpower not to indulge and to say no.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to be addicted to drugs. I am thankful every day that they have never been introduced into my life. I am thankful for parents who raised me to know better. I am thankful to be surrounded by friends and family who are always there for me- I am never alone. I am thankful. 

I'm feeling pretty sad today about this tragedy. It reminds me that life is fragile and precious. It reminds me to just slow down and savor each day. It reminds me not to sweat the small things and just be happy.

My whole heart and prayers go out to my family and especially to the friends and family of the man who lost his life. May they find peace and understanding during these sad times.

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