November 19, 2010

The Week In Rant: Mixed Bag of Emotions

Welcome to Friday!

This week has been an emotional week on a couple different levels.

It took 2.5 years and a miscarriage before we miraculously conceived our son. It was the longest, saddest and most confusing 2.5 years of my life. Month after month after month of disappointments. Invasive fertility testing and drugs. We were at the point of giving up when that elusive 2nd line showed up on the test. It took a long time and many ultrasounds to be real. It took a long time before I was able to truly say, "I am having a baby!" I went through my infertile period alongside another couple my husband and I are close friends with. They were so gracious when we were pregnant, even though I know how much it hurt for them to be around us. I tried to hide my bump and avoid the subject, not wanting them to feel sad. I know how it felt to be around pregnant couples. I've been in that sad place watching co-workers and friends have babies and having no understanding why it couldn't happen for me. It's strange, I still get those twinges of jealousy now. Especially that we are trying for #2 and once again, experiencing month after month of BFN's. Yet, they wanted to know how it was going and asked questions. They tried for 6 years for their baby, and after a 3rd and final attempt at IVF they found out they would not be able to conceive at all. I was so thrilled to find out that they were going to move to adoption. I completely understand how difficult of a decision it is to adopt (not to mention expensive). We wrote them a letter of recommendation and waited, following their story with great anticipation. Just a couple days ago, they got their wish and they are going to be parents to a beautiful baby boy. I have cried several times this week over their amazing news. What a lucky little guy to have them as parents! There are no words to describe how happy and thrilled we are for them and hope we can help out in any way possible!

On the sad side, my mom was laid off from her job this week. She had been with her company for something crazy like 25 years and was just a few short years away from retirement. She definitely needed those few years for their retirement fund. I was so sad when I heard the news. I knew she was likely not going to try and find another job, I mean, at 60 is there any reason to try? She is such a humble, meek and wonderful lady. I know she wasn't beating down doors or climbing ladders, but I'm certain she worked her butt off. So gone are the days when working at a company for 25 years keeps your job safe and secure. Heck, gone are the days when people even STAY at a job for 25 years. Nobody has that kind of loyalty anymore and frankly, I find that kind of sad. I know she wasn't quite ready to retire just yet, but I hope this is just a sign that it is time for her to let go and do something fun. Something for herself. I only hope we can keep her spirits high over the holidays this year.

Okay. I think I've officially reached my crying quota for the week!

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