July 22, 2010

Where Did My Hobbies Go?

This is a picture of the Our Lady of Victory Chapel at St. Catherine University in St. Paul. Beautiful, right?

I get the honor of singing at this Chapel for my brother's wedding on November 6th and I could not be more excited. One of the little known facts about me is that I am a professionally trained singer. I took private vocal lessons all the way through high school and college, won numerous awards and got to travel the country singing with my college choir. Why did I do it? Because I LOVED it. No other reason. I had no intention of making a career out of it. I was involved with music because it brought me joy.

In reconnecting with friends from high school and college via our good friend Facebook, I get asked all the time, "Why on earth are you not doing anything in music?" My answer used to be that I chose not to get into the music profession because of the high competition and and low pay. My excuse then turned into lack of time and that I now creatively express myself through Marketing. Now... I just don't know why. I do know that I miss it. I miss being in a choir. I miss playing the piano. I miss playing flute. And how is this for a shocker: I've been dating/married to my husband for 8 years. He has never heard me sing or make music other than the mild humming I might do along to a song or singing lullabies to Jack when he was a tiny little baby. He has never seen me perform! I think he thinks that I'm making my talent up! I find this extremely sad, but it is also directly related to my ever-growing lack of self-confidence. What if he thinks I suck? What if I am one of those people who think I'm really good but actually really suck (think American Idol auditions...). Then it dawned on me. I wouldn't have been able to be a part of my college choir or been asked to sing at weddings and church if I didn't have talent. Given my current employment woes, it makes me wonder if music could be my savior should I decide to stay home with my munchkin. If I could fit it in and make it a part of my life, I truly think it could fill my professional/career desires.

I used to call music my hobby. However, it is so much more than that. It is my passion and I would love to make it an everyday part of my life. What the heck am I waiting for? 

So I ask: Is there something that you were involved in and passionate about growing up that you wish you were still doing now?

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