July 23, 2010

NOW I get motivated

So as November 6th draws near, and yes, it is drawing near, my bridesmaid's dress freak out begins. I have been doing the half-assed version of working out: doing enough to satisfy my guilt, but not enough to make a difference. So, over the past couple weeks, I have stepped it up. Shaking up some of the cardio by doing bike rides, I took the dog for a walk last night... It's time to really ENJOY the summer! The great thing, is that my half-assed version did start working over time and I was seeing slow changes in my body. Since I've stepped it up, the changes have been sudden and rapid (not to mention my little food poisoning stint was a nice little kick start). THIS excites me. Seeing progress makes me want to work harder and keep going. Just as a little sneaky peak, this is the style of dress I will be wearing for the wedding, only mine is in the color mocha. While this dress is flattering overall, I can still see some overhang issues under the arms and the back. Yikes. I've been following the Buff Brides program (which I did when I was a blushing bride). I liked it back then and I like it now because it focuses on on the spots that really matter when wearing a gown (arms, chest, back, abs) but doesn't forget about the other parts to help you get ready for a honeymoon. I'll look at that as just as added bonus that I can now put on shorts without being totally horrified at my legs. Anyway, my get fit journey continues on and I refuse to give up this time around.

I can't forget to talk about my latest thoughts on my big decision: continue working or become a SAHM. The latest to add to the positive and negative chart: Jack's daycare. His school, The Primrose School is phenomenal. Expensive? Yes. When we made the decision to put our son in Primrose, I about gagged at the cost ($335/week for infants) but my husband and I both agreed that putting him in the best program getting educational value from the start would be the best thing and we would pay top dollar for it. Not to brag, but last night at dinner, he spouted out the entire ABC's including "Now I know my ABC's, Next time won't you sing with me." No shit. My husband and I were jumping up and down cheering him on. Why? He isn't even 2 yet! WTH? Either my son is ridiculously gifted or, we can chalk it up to the awesomeness of Primrose. Perhaps it is a little bit of both, but we give Primrose an incredible amount of credit in his development. At the risk of ripping on myself a little bit, I just am not entirely sure he would be who he is if it weren't for Primrose. I feel like pulling him out of this school could be a bad choice and could disrupt his progress. I also suddenly feel incredibly selfish. Boo-hoo, I hate my job, so what? I'm just gonna quit? Throw a tantrum? Yank my kid out of GREAT nurturing environment in which he is thriving? How fair is that? I'm one of the lucky ones who HAS a job. I watched my former boss struggle for 8 months looking for a job supporting his two little girls on his mere unemployment check. My situation really could be worse. Shouldn't I just suck it up and deal with it for my kid's sake? If he were in a not so good daycare environment, this would be a much easier decision for me to make. But really, this decision seems to be turning into a selfish ME ME ME situation.

No, I haven't come close to making a decision yet but it helps to be able to vent some of my thoughts about it. Come November, I will lay all of this out on the table. Hopefully before then I will have an epiphany and be able to make a decision I can be at peace with both for me and my family.

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