July 19, 2010

Master Step and Soul Searching

As you all know, I have been working hard on my fitness. I've had the usual setbacks between wickedly bad cramps, a husband away on vacation and most recently, food poisoning. While yes, I lost 5 pounds from my food poisoning adventure and have gained a fear of eating out, I really don't recommend that form of weight loss plan to anyone. I am to be a bridesmaid in just a few short months, my final fitting and alterations taking place in a mere month and a half. Not much time, right? Regardless of the fact that I have to wear a strapless, show everything possible around the midsection dress, I really do want to get back to the old me. For a period of about a good 6 years, I was healthy and in shape. After having Jack, it hasn't been that easy to find my groove. I went to Master Step for the first time in a long time over the weekend and I learned the reason why you should never stop once you get started: IT HURTS!!! Two days later and my calves are still screaming at me in agony not to mention my being rusty at the choreography- I'm sure I looked like an ass at this class not to mention I think I annoyed the girl next to me (10 minutes into class, she moved her step away from mine... nice). Despite some of my setbacks, regardless of how great the excuse, the determination is there.

Soul searching. I am taking the next few months or so to really search my soul and try and determine whether or not being a SAHM is the right thing for me. That said, if I wasn't willing to give things up to have kids, then maybe I should reconsider my choice to be a parent in the first place. Seeing that my career (at least in my current job) is on the fast track to nowhere, this really should be an easy choice, right? Truth is, I love what I DO at my job, I'm just not a fan of the politics. I definitely think I've come to the conclusion that Jack's daycare is not the be all and end all and I truly think, as long as I stick to my guns about early education, that he could be just as smart as well-adjusted in my care. I've taken some time to research some early preschool options in my area (very part-time, like 2 days a week) and like what I see not to mention that most of the programs are Christian programs which is hugely important to me. As you can see, the more I begin to actually consider staying home as an option, the more I like it. I have always hated that Monday-Friday I only have 10 hours with him. That's it. 10 hours in 5 days. Even when Jack becomes school age, it would be great to be able to be home for him when he gets off the bus. It's not to say that I won't go back to work someday when my kids get into their teens and no longer "need" me to be there. I'm still on the fence. I'm still thinking about it. I flip-flop my thoughts on this every day, so expect me to write more and more of my thoughts on the issue as I prepare to make this huge decision this fall.

On another note, we bought a bike trailer this weekend and Jack absolutely LOVES it! Here's a little picture treat for today:

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