July 21, 2010

Fresh New Look. Fresh New Perspective

I thought I would freshen up my blog a little to make it a little easier to read and, well a little more girly- just like me!

As I continue on my journey to my big decision at the end of the year I'm still flip-flopping all over the place. I've been reaching out to all of the stay at home moms that I know trying to get some perspective and inspiration. My most recent response came from a family member who, while I totally appreciate her response and honesty, confused me even further.

She is now a stay at home mom and used that time to go back to school. She now has her Masters Degree in Education and is still a stay at home mom. She struggles with the same thing I am struggling with in terms of making this huge decision: balance. If I give up my career, will I ever get it back? If I give up my career, will I regret it? Will I be as fulfilled as a mom as I am as a marketing professional? Soooo many questions that I don't even know where to begin to find the answer. I feel like the only way to know the truth is to take the plunge and try. I have always been a career girl, so I really don't know anything else other than to work. Considering the level of bitchy I am when I come home at night, I'm thinking this may not necessarily be that big of a loss. My biggest fear in leaving my job is what happens if I want to go back to work in 5-10 years? If I stop now will I have to start over from scratch later? Do I have to give up my career altogether? This is the point where I wish I could see into the future.

The other side of my decision comes with growing my family. We have always wanted to have 2 kids. The daycare I am ever so in love with now, we will not be able to afford to have a 2nd kid there. So, before I came to my revelation that my job was making me a miserable witch, we decided to put #2 on hold (which makes me chuckle considering the amount of time it took to get pregnant with #1). Let's face it. I'm no spring chicken here. I turn 35 in less than a year, and as all women know, that is the magical medical number when you're considered wicked old in terms of child-bearing regardless that it is pretty commonplace in the society which we live today. I hate the idea of waiting. I'm so ready to complete my family and I don't want to wait anymore! I didn't mention that, because of the new lack of flexible schedule in my current work environment, being pregnant again here would be virtually impossible between appointments and god forbid, additional appointments if I should develop PIH again. My former boss had mercy on me with my first and at the end of the day, just wanted me and baby to be safe and healthy. Man I miss working for him.

So I put this question out there to the universe:
Are you a mom who left their career behind to stay home with the kids? How did you come to your decision? What do you love the most about it? What are your biggest challenges? What advice do you have in terms of making this decision?

2 comments:

  1. I can't imagine the stress a decision like this is putting you through! It's almost like to have to pick between yourself, or your family.

    Any chance you could keep up your skills by working at home? Perhaps some consulting? While it sounds like a lot of work in this economy, it might actually work out because so many companies, non-profits, etc are outsourcing so they don't have to pay benefits for a full-time employee.

    And, I think a decision like this totally depends on the company you are with. I plan to continue working after we get out child from China...partly because I need to keep my insurance benefits (way more generous than Chuck's, especially if we are getting a special needs kid), but mostly because I work in a flexible, supportive environment.

    One last thing to think about...would you feel differently if you were with a different company? If you too were in a supportive, flexible role, would you be inclined to stay? something to think about!

    Hugs!

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  2. The ONLY reason I want to leave is because of the new recent lack of flexibility. I really love the actual work that I do! I am most definitely looking for other jobs and would stay working as long as I could find the right work environment- that's a lot easier said than done nowadays though. I would love to do freelance consulting as well, but it is kind of one of those no guarantees thing and I would need steady income to keep Jack in his current daycare. I could not have him home and work at the same time- he is a BUSY BOY!

    I'm eternally envious of those who work in flexible environments!! It would seriously change everything if my employer was more flexible and supportive. Plus... I do better work with flex time because I'm not worried about things like showing up "on time" or whether or not someone is keeping tabs on me. I am much more productive.

    I used to worry that I'd go crazy at home all day with Jack, but that is a hurdle that I am over and have activities scoped out that would keep us busy almost every day.

    Such a tough choice and why I am taking a significant chunk of time to think it over and not make a sudden knee-jerk decision.

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