May 21, 2010

Why the Grey's Season Finale Moved Me

For potentially the first time all season, I watched Grey's Anatomy live as opposed to re-watching it back on my DVR a couple days later. As a self-proclaimed TV junkie, I've seen a lot of good TV in my day, but this finale was one of THE best moments in TV ever, at least for me.

Without spoiling it for those that have yet to watch it, I can honestly say that not only was I terrified and on the edge of my seat, but I cried like a baby nearly through the entire 2 hours. It was violent. Powerful. Scary. It was raw and tackled what was honest emotion and truly was how I'd react if I was faced with my own mortality. If someone didn't find a way to relate to the emotional element of this episode then they are obviously not human.

***SPOILER ALERT!!***

The moment that really hit home with me though was Meredith's pregnancy. In the last 20 minutes or so of the show, as she was working on Owen who was shot, she miscarried. Even crazier, she never stopped working. But the powerful moment came at the end of the show when she pulled out of her locker the pregnancy test that said so clearly "pregnant" and threw it away.

In the many moments of my life that I say I'll never forget, the day that I began to miscarry is one that I will never be able to get out of my head. There is such a defining moment during a miscarriage where you feel absolutely helpless and desperate knowing there is nothing you can do but just let it happen. I didn't throw the tests away for a good couple weeks, but I certainly remember when I did. It was like admitting defeat. It re-opened those raw emotions of my loss and I had wished that I had just disposed of the tests right away. I never forgot that loss and never will. It has been four years and not a day goes by that I don't remember that heartbreak or the heartbreaking 2.5 years of infertility that followed. I have a miracle baby now and I know that my angel baby watches over him and keeps him safe.

1 comment:

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