April 07, 2010

Mommy Guilt

New moms can relate... mommy guilt is the worst kind of guilt there is.

Mommy Guilt Definition: When mom's feel bad about doing anything for themselves.

I bring this up today because my husband made the worst possible comment to me in regards to my going to the Bon Jovi concert tonight that pushed my mommy guilt over the edge. He asked me to bring Jack to daycare and when I said I couldn't (work related conflicts) he said "Well, don't you want to spend any time with your son?" Cue my freak out. I cried the entire night after that. Perhaps daddies don't get the guilt like mommies do. Not sure. It might just be a genetic gender thing. So for the rest of the night between my tears, I cuddled my little boy like it was the last day I would ever see him. I didn't get a chance to eat dinner (it is was my turn for treat day at work so I spent my evening making brownies and by 8:00p, nothing sounded good anyway). I went to bed at 9:30p. Still crying.

So I sit here at work with my swollen eyes hoping that my little boy is having a good day, missing him, feeling sad and guilty that I won't get to see him until tomorrow night other than through the glow of his video monitor when I get home around midnight tonight. This begs the question, when is it okay to let yourself off the hook? How do I let go of my mommy guilt?

I guess it is one thing to think about my guilt from being a working mom and wanting to have some semblance of a social life amongst adults. It is another to be called out on it.

I was excited to go see Bon Jovi, re-live a little youth. I was excited to hang out with a friend that I rarely get to see anymore. Mommy guilt has washed all that away and I feel like I should just scrap it and just go home to be with my little boy. I hope that my very sad and depressed mood won't ruin what should've been a fun night for my friend.

1 comment:

  1. Enjoy the show tonight. I suffer Mommy Guilt all the time and it sucks but in order to stay sane and keep some sense of yourself you have to take time to do things that you enjoy. It will make you a better mommy in the end:)


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