I confess that I haven't been a great blogger. Well... here at least. So let's catch up with the latest and greatest in life and rants.
1) I am on a major weight loss kick. As we tip toe back into the TTC world, I feel once again that the only way it is going to happen is if I lose weight and get serious about being healthy. Not to say that I wasn't oh so careful when I was pregnant with Jack, but, I do feel that being overweight contributed to my unexplained infertility. Why else would I get pregnant after losing 15 pounds? Anyway, in order to do this, I have had to re-commit in a big way. I quit WeightWatchers which was only doing a couple things for me: jack and shit. I rejoined SparkPeople.com and have been seeing really great results as well as getting support through their amazing community. I have been keeping a weight loss blog there and it has really been great at keeping me honest and on track. Not an easy thing to do during the Halloween season of amazing chocolate at every turn. I really recommend SparkPeople and how their program works. I think it was just the kickstart I needed to get the weight loss moving.
2) Vaccine Rant:
With H1N1 messing up everyone's world, the great vaccination debate is firing up again. Everyone knows that I am pro-vaccination. When Jack started daycare, our family has NEVER been so sick. We caught every little cold, stomach virus you name it. Our house should have had a big bubble around it. I simply CANNOT imagine my child getting sick with something worse. As with anything, you have to weigh the risks. I have always looked at it from the point of view that I would rather my son be autistic then dead. Another way I look at it is- when I get a medication for something whether it be pain pills or antibiotics, I'm always told by my doctor or Jack's pediatrician that the benefits outweigh the side effects of the medication. I look at vaccinations the same way. I have also seen the horrors of meningitis and will do ANYthing to keep my son from getting that sick. I actually heard someone say "It's not like they can die from the flu." Unless you live in a bubble and never read or watch the news, you know that is NOT TRUE. There are plenty of VERY healthy kids dying from both H1N1 and the seasonal flu. Extremely ignorant to say that it could never happen to you. Fine if you are wearing your tin foil hat with your grass skirt drinking your tofu tea hanging out with your non-vaccinated children but keep them away from me and my family.
3) OH my god rant. I saw this posted on Parenting.com today and felt like I needed to rant: Article- Should Childless Children Get Maternity Leave?
Um. NO. Listen. When I was trying to get pregnant for 2.5 years and watching scores of women around me who were rubbing their perfect pregnant bellies and then leaving for 12 weeks on what I assumed was an extended vacation then coming back with a million excuses in the world for why they have to leave early to pick up little Ben from daycare or go to their holiday pageant it made me livid. Why do they get all this flexibility and I'm working my ass off until 5p? I sort of turned the other cheek and used it to my professional advantage. I'd steal projects, take all the glory. Then, I got my turn. Maternity leave is no treat. It is no vacation. There is nothing fun about maternity leave. Let's see. The first 3 weeks are spent in a baby blues blur of non-stop crying for pretty much no reason at all. I spent at least the first 4 weeks in recovery alone- the bleeding, the pain from both postpartum contractions and my episiotomy and not to mention that I also came down with a uterine infection that put me on horrible antibiotics, pain pills and a week of bed rest while I recovered. I didn't even bring up baby yet!!! There is no sleep. For Jack there was also no breastfeeding which just ADDED to my already on-edge baby blues issues and worry. Jack was jaundiced which meant a week on a bili bed and getting blood tests every two days to make sure that his bilirubin number was going down (which it wasn't because he wasn't eating) in which we then decided to switch to formula which brought on a firestorm of criticism from all corners. By 6 weeks (the normal maternity leave time off in the US that is actually paid for) Jack was still feeding at least twice overnight- the THOUGHT of going back to work that early gives me shivers. Through the glory of FMLA, I was able to take 12 weeks off and because of an amazing boss and CEO I was able to stretch that to 15 weeks. It was exactly the right amount of time that I needed to settle into an entirely new life, figure out a routine with the baby and completely recover from his birth.
So. Unless whoever these women are that want maternity leave for doing a whole lot of nothing want to go through EXACTLY this then they can kiss my ass. Hell yeah, I'd love 6 weeks off to do absolutely nothing, but IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Now... Giving leave time to someone undergoing infertility treatments? That is something I would be able to agree with. Infertility drugs and procedures are no cakewalk let alone the emotional aspect of it. I would think a woman should be well within their rights to have time allotted for that.
4) Breastfeeding Rant.
I will be the first to say that the benefits of breastfeeding are amazing. Those that were able to successfully do for a year? My heroes. HOWever... my rant isn't about those people necessarily. It is about the selfish breastfeeders- you know the ones. The ones who do it for THEM and justify their behavior as being for their child. The ones who did it to lose all the baby weight and then some. The ones who are obsessed with feeding (you do get some pretty amazing hormone rushes from it). I saw a post today from someone who is still EBF and her kid is over the age of 1 now. When I say exclusive? I mean exclusive. As in no other form of nutrition other than breast milk. No Gerber Puffs, no purees, no fruits, no veggies, no table foods of any kind and she is surprised that her son hasn't gained any weight in 3 months? It is time to LET GO of the breastfeeding- this is OBVIOUSLY telling you that his needs are changing! I was not a breastfeeder so I really shouldn't even comment, but when the answer is so right in your face... ugh.
I can't understand why some moms are so blind to their kids' changing needs whether it be naps, bottles, food... I am sure there are plenty of things that I turn my head to when it comes to Jack, but I have also learned when it is time to let go, too. I thought giving up the swaddle would be terrible. Turned out to be a non-event. I thought I would never give him solids in the fear of his choking. He eats grilled cheese like a champ. I thought losing the nighttime bottle would be a tragedy- also a non-event. I thought he would never go to sleep without being rocked- also not true (and very hard for ME to give up- I loved my snuggle time with him!). Ask me about the pacifier in a few months... ha! My point is- you can't hold onto these things forever and even though they can't talk, they are showing you signs of how much they are changing all the time and you have to roll with it. No matter how much you fight it- they really aren't babies for long. I, frankly, love my 1 year old. He is so much fun to be around now that he is interactive and dinner is a blast now that he can eat our food right along with us.
5) TTC #2 Rant
My DH and I have been TTC #2 pretty steadily now since about May. Sure, we should probably getting it on more often. A part of me just keeps thinking: WHY can't we be that couple who only has to do it once and we're pregnant? Those of you long time TTCers know what I'm talking about. It's not that the lovin' isn't great, it is just... a lot and it is stressful and not a good kind of stress. I've been trying to connect with others who are TTC #2 and wanted to keep an open mind. I joined a buddy group with my October 08 mums and out of 5 of us, 3 are already pregnant. WTF? Once again, I am the last one standing. I then drifted off to try another group. I lurked around, thought about posting and saw: "I hope my journey for #2 isn't as long as #1. It took us 4 months to TTC #1." I thought, "4 WHOLE months??" WTF!!! Who makes a comment like that??? I hesitate to even mention 2 1/2 years being long as I know there are others out there who have been at the TTC game MUCH, much longer than that. Just. Stupid. It is safe to say that I ran far, far away from that group never to open up the thread again. For a long time, I was indifferent as to whether or not I wanted a 2nd child. I'm sure it was on one of those not so good days with Jack. However, those thoughts are long gone. I REALLY want a sibling for him. I don't care if it is a boy or a girl (although a girl would be FABulous). We have a cutoff this time though- if we're not pregnant by the end of 2010 the gig is up. I refuse to go through any more TTC stress, drugs, or losses (which I am at a higher risk for with uterine fibroids).
Catch up rants complete!