September 22, 2009

To Stay At Home or Stay at Work

I always told myself when I got pregnant with Jack that if my job ever stopped being fun that I would quit and stay at home to raise him. Well... that time may have presented itself. There has been a drastic change in management and with that came drastic changes to my job and pretty much everyone's job where I'm at. So much to the point that I often wonder if they even need me anymore. The office stress has reached its peak and it is definitely not fun to come into work at this time.

So, I'm faced with the possibility of becoming a stay at home mom (or SAHM as it is often referred to). I often wondered if I could be the type of person to stay home. I love my son more than life, believe me, but, I find that I do need my breaks from him as well. If I stay home, those will be few and far between since I have a husband that travels. On the other hand, how much would I love to have time for mommy playgroups, swim classes, mommy and me classes at the gym, shopping, playing... I find myself often dreaming about how it would be.

Then... I realize that he goes to an AMAZING school. I will be honest and say that I do not think he would be as developmentally advanced without having gone to school at this place for the past 9 months. Yeah- I'm totally ripping on myself, but I just don't think I could've taught him all that he has learned. So why not keep him in there a couple days a week? Not an option. You pay full price whether he is there 2 days a week or 5. We would not be able to afford it if I weren't working. He even has a BEST FRIEND at school!! It's so sweet! I would hate to take that away from him!

So now you see my great dilemma.

After much agonizing thought and weighing the pros the cons the great the bad, I've decided to continue working. I have faith that things are going to turn around at my work and I'm going to get back to winning some of these battles here. At the end of the day, I do really enjoy what I do it is the company politics that mess everything up. Why can't we all just get along? Anyway- I just feel like Jack is in the best place possible, and, really, I am too. I am so proud of all that he has accomplished and amazed at the values they have taught him. I want him to continue on that path as well as I really want him to grow up with these kids if it is at all possible.

Perhaps when he is school-age and going from sport to sport and lesson to lesson, I'll consider giving up my work to haul him around all over creation, but for now, I'm going to let the experts work their magic on him.

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