June 26, 2009

Stressed, but... Come On

Firstly, I think it is hilarious that I've been sitting on another post that never made it to publish for OVER A MONTH! I try to write, I really do!

As a quick update, my little man is truly that- a little man! The amount of development he's gone through in the course of about a month is really incredible. He is now crawling everywhere, pulling himself up on everything possible and getting into whatever he can. With my DH traveling like he does, there are very few moments I have to myself anymore. I am VERY protective of my son. I admit it. However, I am with good reason. There are so many stories out there of women who just "let go" of the little things. I refuse. When he squacks at night, I am peeking in to make sure he is okay. When he's pulling up on things, I am right there to make sure the fall isn't dangerous to him (I do let him plop on his butt- it is important for him to learn how to move around!). There have been several incidents at school in ONE WEEK of him falling and bumping his head and it scares me to pieces! I know... he's a boy... he's learning... and these things will happen, but it doesn't make me any less paranoid.

This was posted on my mommy forum recently:
 
I'm hearing it was a rerun, but I had never seen it before.

It was about the woman who left her child in the car.

I think everyone should see this show. It was heartbreaking, obviously. I cried all the way through. But I am actually going to make my husband watch it, at least through the womans story. It could happen to ANY one of us. ANY SINGLE ONE OF US. I've said before that it couldn't-when I've heard similar stories-that I would never EVER do that, that it could never happen to me-but listening to this, I know it could. I absolutely know it could.

The whole 'theme' of the show was telling moms to SLOW DOWN. To not try to rush around being everything to everyone and trying to be the perfect mother, wife, worker, etc. It's when you get caught up in life and the rush of your own world, that horrible things happen.

Apparently it came about the same way a lot of these stories seem to. CHANGE IN ROUTINE. Her husband usually took both their daughters to daycare/preschool. But this day he had a dentist appointment and asked HER to take the 2 year old, Cecilia. She was an assistant principal at a school and it was the first day back or something, so she was rushed. She realized it was too early to take her to daycare/sitter yet though, so she went to get donuts for the teachers at her school. When she pulled out of the donut shop after getting the food, she just headed to work like she normally would having left that donut shop. She got out at the school (they even have it on video), unloaded her car and went to work. At 4 oclock another teacher was leaving and saw the little girl in the car. She ran back in and asked the woman if she had maybe gone and picked her up (as in recently). That's when the woman finally realized she had never taken Cecilia to the sitter. She had been in the car the whole day, a full 8 hours. And she was gone.

An awful story, but it could happen to one of us. I think this was mentioned recently about some other story. And someone mentioned putting something back in the back seat that you'll always have to get out. I've decided to start keeping my laptop in the backseat. I have to take my laptop into my office with me, so there is no way I'd go inside my work without it. If I had to get it from the back, I'd know if Ella was sitting there. I can't imagine a scenario where she WOULD be, but I want to be safe rather than sorry. I would die without my Ella. I would have died without Logan if I hadn't had Ella to keep me alive. With only Ella left, I don't know that I could function if I lost her. (and I know you all feel the same way)

Anyway, just something to think about. And I highly advise you to watch the episode if you haven't seen it. (are oprah episodes available online?)

This woman was villified in her town, and she shouldn't have been. 
While I do that that people could have been a bit more understanding for her circumstances and that I'm certain she would've never in a million years have done this on purpose and I fully believe it was an honest mistake and accident. HOWEVER... HOW do you forget your child is there? I mean, really? I am talking to Jack from the very moment I strap him into his carseat and during the drive. Our entire lives revolve around him- NOTHING else is more important to us. Plus, change in routine is what we do. With a hubby who travels about 50% of the time, I have to change our plans on a whim. Everything we do revolves around Jack. Everything. Period. Anyone who has a child should really be the same way. This gal talks about leaving her laptop in the backseat because she'd never forget that. Well, I'd never forget my kid. Ever. 

Maybe I'm being critical. Maybe I'm talking out of my ass. I just don't understand. I read horror stories like this every day and they are exactly what makes me a freakishly paranoid mommy. In his crib? The most dangerous thing that it is there is his bumper- I don't like having it in there, but he sleeps so perfectly with it there. Before it was up, he was getting all his limbs stuck and hanging out- I was concerned about him breaking a leg or an arm. The bumper scared me for suffocation reasons so we bought the Angelcare. I've never looked back. Now he's bigger and I observe him in there often to see if he'll start climbing the bumper to try and get out. Great. Yet another thing to worry about. He doesn't get pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, silkies, loveys. Nothing. His crib is for sleeping. There is nothing in grabbing distance anymore- mobile has been removed, changing table items have been tucked away, the monitor is a safe distance away from his curious reach. 

I know I can't protect him from everything, but dammit, I am going to try. 

We do not very often let anyone babysit him. Not anyone in particular. Nobody really. It has taken a LOT for us to ask anyone to watch him. Both DH and I are stubborn asses- we have our way of doing things and again, we are protective of him. If something happened and we weren't there, we would hold ourselves accountable for sure. We are trying really hard to be more open to letting more people watch him so we can have a bit of a marriage back. 

Just my 2 cents for the day!
 
 
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