April 10, 2008

Holy Crap! 15 Weeks!

Holy crap is right! 15 weeks!!!

Yes, it is indeed possible that gender could be seen by now, but I've still got another 5 week wait until that appointment. What are we hoping for? Firstly a healthy baby. You ask again... What are are we hoping for? Honestly, we'd love a little girl. I'm not sure why. I think it seems like all of our friends and families have little boys and we'd like to be different. I think my husband is just looking for a little princess to spoil. I swear, I'll be happy either way though.

As far as how I'm doing physically, it seems my morning sickness has been put on the back burner and I'm now suffering through a cold!! Will I ever get a freakin' break?? I definitely have a baby belly that I am unable to hide anymore. A co-worker commented to me the other day that I looked bigger than last week... well, duh. hehe.

One thing that I have been struggling with the most is some life-change stuff. While I am absolutely beyond thrilled to become a mother, I feel a sense of loss. Hanging out with the girls last weekend, I realized what a completely different place I am in. One friend has no desire to have kids (nor can she afford one, so I completely would not condone her having babies), another friend is a total career woman- she has a boyfriend but has no desire to "settle" at any point and said she didn't see herself ever having kids. The other is eternally single. Also a busy career girl, she just has no desire to have a boyfriend or settle down. I have NO PROBLEM with anyone making the decisions they have made. I, for one, after being infertile for 2 1/2 years started coming to terms with the life of a DINK (that is... dual income no kids). Now, being pregnant, I just realized how far away I feel from them. I feel disconnected. I love being able to use the community boards to talk about pregnancy, but every now and then, it would be SO NICE to have a close friend or family member to talk to. Nobody seems to understand or, *chuckle*, remember what it was like to be pregnant. Or, I get a lot of the "I had a perfect pregnancy- no morning sickness for me!". Oh shut the hell up! It's just kinda lonely out here in preggo world and I've been a little depressed.

I have a question... if I'm not supposed to be eating cold deli meats, then WHY AM I CRAVING THEM SO DAMN BAD???? If I could eat a Subway Spicy Italian every day, I would be so happy. No. Toasting this sub is not an option- must stay cold!

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