October 25, 2007

Tick Tock

Seriously. Am I crazy?

I've been so good about not getting so worked up over my 2WW for like the past 8 months and all of a sudden I'm sitting here again thinking, this is it?

Truly, I do have some crazy symptoms this month. I'm sure there are a thousand explanations as to why I am having them and I'm sure they have nothing to do with pregnancy. I am SO sure this month that I started a mini-journal of symptoms. On top of that, my chart is the first promising looking chart that I've had in 2 years (next to my fabulously pretty Clomid charts). I'm currently 12 dpo (days past ovulation). My test today (that's right... I took a freakin' test) appeared to be negative although I swear I saw something. And to think I swore I'd never be one of "those" women- squinting and turning my pee stick over and over until I actually convince myself that there is a line there. Guess the reason I think what I do is that I've seen enough negative ones to know when something seems a little different. Nonetheless, I'm officially out of pee sticks and am going to hold off buying more until I have a reason to be at Target. Also... by this weekend, I'll know for sure as Ms. AF is to arrive on Saturday or Sunday (possibly Monday). Could I simply be testing too early?

Most importantly, whether it works still remains to be seen, I am applying my "The Secret" techniques to TTC. I've asked the universe for a baby, I've asked the universe to give a positive test, we've made plans for what will happen once we know for sure that I'm preggo... and I'm trying like crazy to just BE POSITIVE. No more sad thoughts. No more depressing thoughts. No more "woe is me, I can't get pregnant" thoughts. NO MORE. From here on out, only happy, bouncy baby thoughts!!

I will keep ya posted as this journey moves forward. Here's to my Sunday BFP!

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