January 31, 2007

Another Month Bites The Dust

Well, good ol' aunt flo came to darken my door over this past weekend. Needless to day, "Joe" and I are frustrated beyond belief. We were SO SURE that our timing was perfect and that this was going to be our month!

It was heartbreaking to get the BFN at 17dpo knowing there was no hope. Knowing SHE was on the way. I cried.

So, it is on to Clomid round #3. I don't know what to expect- will the doc let us do IUI? Trigger again? Do I even care? I know I haven't been trying as long as some, but my will to fight for this has been running quite thin. I get frustrated when I hear those comments, as if someone who has been trying for 16 months doesn't have the same pain and longing for someone who has been trying for several years. 2 years is about our max. If we're not pregnant naturally or medically, then we are done with this ride. How anyone can try for 6 years is beyond me. I don't think I could put my body, my heart, and my husband through that. We have so many other things to live our life for other than just trying to have a baby. Our marriage is full, loving, and beautiful and I hope to keep it that way.

Meanwhile, I'll just sit here on my drugs, my gigantically growing ovaries, my massive boobs, my dizzy head and pray that somewhere in the midst of all this, a miracle might actually take place!

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