September 27, 2006

10 Reasons I'm Probably Pregnant


10. The need to barf at any given moment

9. If I were a superhero, my super power would be my sense of smell- I can smell EVERYTHING!!

8. My already giant boobs have grown even bigger and hurt like a mother***ker

7. Murphy's Law: husband and i only have supplemental Cobra insurance while he changes jobs

6. I could sleep through a tornado

5. No matter how little or how much I drink, I have to pee every five minutes

4. Murphy's Law: I just spent $180 bucks on a fertility monitor

3. Where did these sudden zits come from??

2. Is it really possible to cry at America's Next Top Model?

1. My raging bitchniness!!!! Amazingly, my husband has NOT left me yet!!

All joking aside, every one of these symptoms are also symptoms of PMS. I think it is CRUEL that there is no real difinitive proof that you aren't pregnant up until aunt flo comes to town, and of course for us POAS (pee on a stick) addicts, most of us know that we aren't several days prior to our visit to surftown. Most likely I am not pregnant. AGAIN. Thus, the $180 worth of fertility monitor equipment. I have no idea if the OV Watch will actually work. Certainly can't work any worse than the POAS ovulation tests, seeing as I haven't gotten pregnant using those either. Perhaps I am a pessimist, only thinking the worst will happen. More than anything, I am just hoping that this reverse psychology will cause less disappointment when I get my monthly negative, or when I get my positive I will be that much more thrilled! Time will tell!

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