June 23, 2006

Liar Liar Pants On Fire


Okay, so I may have told a fib in my last blog. Perhaps it was the mood of the day, perhaps it was raging hormones. Anyway. I decided I cannot give up my baby message forums. After visiting with them for the past month or so, I realized that I am truly invested in their lives and want to offer whatever support I can in lieu of my own experience. Do I often feel jealous of the pregnancy success of others? Heck yeah. The green-eyed monster comes out full force when someone announces their big fat positive (BFP). On the other hand- I'm happy for them. Many of them have had a much more difficult time than me and it is ignorant of me to feel so much hurt over their success. So, I'm taking it back. I'm going to continue visiting these community message boards and continue supporting the other women whose hopes and dreams are so similar to mine. I have girlfriends, but not a single one of them is even remotely in the same place as me in life, so I really don't have a lot of places to go with my questions, my failures, and hopefully soon, my victory. So while it is hard to bury the monster, it feels much better to say a prayer and know that they are all there praying just as hard with me. Taking control of your health and your fertility does NOT make you crazy, it makes you smart. I will feel much more in control of my next pregnancy knowing what I know today.



Let me take a moment to dicuss today the two week wait (2WW). By far the point in the past 8 months during my monthly cycle that is the most frustrating and horrible. For me, I need insta-results. Unfortunately, that type of information is just not available where pregnancy is concerned. Instead, those of us TTC women out there will get this point and start taking measure of every last feeling and vibe in their bodies. For me, I am about 10 days past ovulations (10 dpo) and I swear I feel nauseous, dizzy, exhausted, my boobs not only hurt with a pain unheard of but they appear to have been getting bigger (if that's even possible), and of course I swear my dog has a sixth sense about these things and has been trying to tell me something with her recent bout of incontinence. The picture here is what my baby would look like right now if I am. Of course... I told myself I felt all these things LAST month too. Thus... the torture of the 2WW. THIS is what will make a TTC woman crazy!! All I can do is sit back and pray until either aunt flo shows up for her monthly visit or, by miracle, we have actually grown a gift from God.



A special shout out to my friends at http://www.sparkpeople.com and http://www.babyfit.com (particularly the girls from the Baby Dust & Sticky Vibes Group Forum and March 2007 Group Forum). You are all amazing women and I'm so happy we are in this together. Thank you for your inspiration and guidance. God Bless You in this journey!

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